Transcripts:
Not someone just goes one of those Irish guys. I was just praying bothered him because he was gay. Probably Corby's not gay, dude. Not all preach are gay. Especially back then. No, I'm saying Alexander. Alexander. Alexander. Gay. Might be. Might be. Not gay. There's not one reference of him being gay. Oh, now you Now you [ __ ] trust history. Now you trust history.
The whole Oliver Stone movie was him [ __ ] dudes. And then I looked it up. I was like, man. Yeah. I mean, that was like the Do you think Oliver Stone knows history? Cuz I'm curious to know your thoughts on JFK and the assassination. I love Oliver Stone on JFK. Wait, what did he say on JFK? He he made the movie that basically like really popularized the conspiracy one. Yeah.
Up and to the right. Yeah. Wait, but what's I thought that that movie heavily implies that there was a conspiracy to just exactly reverse. Yeah. It was like a much more underground thing before. What's the idea that the guy up there what Lee RV Oswald didn't shoot him from the window? Is that the idea? Yeah, the whoever else had.
There was also some other people taking shots. So he he did fire, but other people also fired. The shots hit him in the front according to a documentary I watched. But Lee shot, right, while falling asleep. Yeah, Lee shot, right? So at that point, what does it matter? I think the CIA killed JFK. But but there was another guy trying to because he didn't want No, I don't think Lee Harvey Oswald was a psy.
Of course, he's a psy. He was a CIA boy himself. Mhm. They got a hold of him early. Do you subscribe that uh Manson was a CIA boy? I mean, he was MK Ultra. That's I think I think that's true. CIA. It was a LSD program CIA was doing. They were just like, "Hey, let's see what happens if we can.
Can we use LSD to have mind control over people?" And it ended up resulting in a lot of people losing their [ __ ] minds and being like violent psychos like Charles Manson. Whitey Bulger was one. Did they [ __ ] MK? He was MK in Alcatra. Wow. Really? Yeah. Wow. Now I knew he was an informant but I didn't know that he was MK Ultra. He was MK Ultra. Oh. Is that I mean that's a pretty convenient line of thinking if you're like a mob guy that wants to believe that Whitey's real.
Oh, he wouldn't have snitched. But the MK Ultra, no, I I don't I think they all sn I think every single mob guy snitches. Isn't that funny? Yeah, they're all little rats. I mean, if you get into the if you get into the job of committing crimes for money, I don't think you have the most moral backbone. And then when you're looking at 25 years, Yeah. you go, "Ah, fuck.
" But that was that started in like the 70s, right? The mafia started in the US in like the 20s and then for 50 years they couldn't crack it because nobody would roll over. No, I mean they would just pay whoever was in charge. It was a lot easier back then, I think. What do you mean they they would pay the the you could buy people off I think a lot easier in the 20s. Uh you mean the government? Yeah.
Or the prosecutors? Yeah. Uh okay. So then who ends up killing JFK? Have you heard Woody Harelson's dad? That one's crazy. Yeah. What is that? This is crazy. I don't really know the full details, but like now there's pictures of Woody Harelson and RFK like hanging out together and it's like oh his dad killed his uncle. It's like what is going on? Because Woody Harelson's dad worked for the CIA. Yeah.
And they're saying that it was Woody Harrelson's dad that kills JFK or is involved in the plot or actually pulls. But the thing is, so many people are there. We only heard one shot. No, that's not true. There's literally interviews of people being like, I heard a shot from right there. Like lit. But they're saying they heard one. They're not saying there were there were multiple shots.
Oh, I hear everyone saying, "Oh, I heard a shot." Some people said heard it from here. You got shot multiple times. You got one in the neck, one in the head. One went through him and bounced around the car. [Music] The guy was pinpoint accuracy. One of them missed the car entirely and hit the curb. But wouldn't that be like a good like It would sound like machine guns. One shot coming.
Hey, why would one guy be not accurate? Well, they be like, "Hey, let's get our worst marksman to kill the president." I think if three guys are shooting, one missed. Oh, you have Whoa. Oh, I didn't know three guys. There's multiple shooters. So, you have two assassins that are CIA and then you have one pathy and the psy you blame it on and then these guys get the job done.
The only reason you have those two guys there is if you don't believe in this guy's ability to shoot him because if you believe that he could shoot him, why do you even have that? I guess my thing is like if you've convinced Lee Harvey Oswald to shoot and he is going to shoot and he pulls the trigger and a bullet comes out whether or not he's the one that kills them or somebody else I think you just want to make sure you get it done. Mhm. Cuz if you miss this is your one shot. So then the second and third shot hit JFK.
Okay. We've all heard but then have we heard gunshots before? You hear where it comes from? So if there's one coming from here, one coming from there, one coming from there, it's like now you're saying this and that's actually what happened.
And so there are people and there are literally interviews of people that were like, "We heard gunshots from right there." It's called the magic bullet, right? That's Well, the magic bullet magic bullet's how the Warren Commission explained how it went through his back and bounced around and hit hit Senator Connelly or Governor, whoever. They have to they have to make two bullets out of one bullet. Yeah.
And the bullet was totally unscathed. It was a totally So there's people somehow bounced off bones and didn't Yeah. There's people saying that they've heard gunshots from different places from that. Yeah. Look, some fugazi ran to the grassy null to try to find the shooter immediately. Started running towards it. Wow. Yeah. So apparently Woody Woody Harelson's dad was a contract killer. I found I figured it out. Oh yeah, that's it. He was a contract killer.
He got convicted of killing John H. Wood. Was a judge. And then basically while they were trying to arrest him, he told him he was like in a standoff. He was like, "Yo, I killed Kennedy." And then kind of fueled the rumor. And then they could like kind of backed off of it and he only got convicted of killing the one dude. Was he mafia? Yeah.
Apparently he was like an organiz organized crime figure. Harelson is what like Norwegian or something. Yeah. But they probably could have outsourced just the contract killing. You're not in the mafia. You can find one. We're not Italian. But we can outsource killing. Yeah. But back in the day mafia is like you got to be Sicilian.
This is 19 what? 60 60ome 70 some city uh where was he living? Yeah. Uh where was he doing all this? Love lady Texas. Yeah, but you could you could do business with the mafia without being mafia who was the Jewish mobster that was a [ __ ] hez. No, that was Lansky. Myers Lansky. He worked with the mafia very closely, but they would never let him be mafia. Good with numbers. To be made men, you got to be you got to be a talent.
being like they they started splitting it where they were like, "Oh, you can be half. You have to be your father's side Italian." But no, initially, not even Italian, Sicilian specifically. You couldn't be any Italian. They kind of eased up on that. But you could still do work for them without being in the mafia.
That's what I think they would do with I do the same thing with my hands every time I get miked. Someone's m Yeah, you could do whatever you want with me. Nice. Yeah. JFK got killed by the CIA, bro. 100 P. You think we went to the moon? Be honest. I do. That that time. Why CIA? Why CIA? Yeah.
Cuz Kennedy after the Bay of Pigs was going to disband the CIA and then he didn't want to go to Vietnam. A lot of people were going to make a lot of money. And he literally said, "I'm going to disband the CIA." Yeah. Yeah. But couldn't they just like, "Hey, next election he's out." That's that's one argument. But then he got his head blown off on a parade.
Theoretically, you send a message to anybody else who might want to get rid of the CIA. You're not going to give it. Ask yourself this. It's like, do you think the course of America is decided every four years, or do you think that there's another force out there that's making the decisions that's going to protect American interest for the next hundred years? And if the CIA is the decision maker there, then they're going to make sure that nothing gets in their way.
Now, is the CIA working for these like billion-dollar corporations as well? Possibly. Okay. So, then if they're willing to go to those levels of taking out a president, then are they just top dog? Yeah. Yeah. Without a doubt. Oh, so CIA is they? Yeah. The intelligence. Yeah. CIA. I think they is. Nancy Pelosi.
Why Nancy? Why do you put Nancy in? Legacy uh politicians. You put Nancy in they McConnell. Yeah, Mitch was probably part of it. Now they're getting them out in on it. The legacy politician, the ones that don't have the term limits. I also don't think it's this like secret cabal that like gets together. Whoa, whoa, whoa, dude. That word. It's not that word.
But I don't think it's like a they gather at a table and No, it's they all have the same interest. Here's what we're doing. I think it's just like this is a machine. They're just a part of it. It's not like that's the thing that with conspiracy theories that gets confused that I do it myself where I'm like they didn't like sit down and like here's I don't know I don't know does that make sense what I'm saying but there's always there's always interconnected as you think but they all have the same interest
even when people sit at at a table there's always a top so who's the top the top depends on what need what decision needs to be made for example let's say there's back then it was Dallas wait the like the Dallas agreement Yeah, Dallas airport. That guy, he was the head of the CIA. The Dulles brother.
The Dulles brothers were like some of the worst bros of all time. And now, who would you say is top? I have I have no idea. Well, who's the head of CIA? The fact that you don't even know we don't even know is is quite interesting to me. Hopey Trump comes back and saves us. Yeah, that red.
But there's the great argument, right, where it's like anybody the CIA hated, you could make the argument might be doing the quote unquote right thing. So if the CIA takes out JFK, it's like, well, what was he trying to do? Take out the sha of Iran. Take out Himeme Raldos in Ecuador. Take out Omar Toro. Oh, keep going. Come on, bro. No, keep going. You form a little fruit company and take out all the people. That was what Dallas do. That's what I'm saying.
Dallas was a lawyer. Get that guy and on behalf of corporate interests. Yes. Was that's how he those are those banana republics all that like fruit company. So you have a fruit company in Costa Rica and you need to make sure that country goes, "Hey, these are our resour you guys don't own these resources.
This is our country's resources." Then all of a sudden the CIA sends the boys down there and lets you know that it's not your resources and they go, "Hey, there's an election coming up. Here's the new guy. He's going to win. And if your guy wins, we're going to we're going to make we're going to support some rebels that are going to execute him." Yeah.
Buy up the printing press, buy up the news, push some story, which is, you know, how we're doing this. Yes. If we were in Costa Rica, we wouldn't be doing this. We'd be out [ __ ] picking bananas for the Dulles brothers. So the same thing probably happens with oil. Same thing happens with precious minerals, you know what I mean? Like Yeah.
Obviously, we went to Afghanistan and Iraq. Yeah. Yeah. But they had weapons of Son of a [ __ ] They didn't. Damn it. Damn. We got punk, dude. Where's Ashton? [ __ ] dude. We thought there was WPs the whole time. Damn it. So, that's the question. Who's in charge? Maybe. But then, so here's the the real question is, do you want someone to be in charge? I don't even think anyone's in charge.
I think it's just a Do you want somebody to plot the course of America? I think it's easy to like we do this thing where we sit here and we like we [ __ ] and complain and uh and we go these are the bad guys and they're awful and there's these conspiracies and this that the other but at the same time we like love most of the [ __ ] that we get to indulge in because of all that.
So not directly because of it but partially because of the guy chef. Exactly. So it's like there's part of me if I'm them I go okay y'all want to run it do you want to run it every four years? Yeah. Like, do you want every four years a new guy to come in and make all the new decisions or do you want someone else to plot the course of America? I don't know. I think we're drinking. Hell yeah. For the record, none of us think we're right.
That's a problem. You guys are scared. Yeah. You have a couple drinks and everybody that come We didn't say we're right. We just said, "What do we want? We're having a nice time. We have fun." Um, no. I want Biden to make I never see you guys pull back like this. I want Biden to make I I like Biden making some decisions. This is the thing about conspiracy theories though.
Like you said, anybody who gets killed, you could be like, "Oh, the CI didn't like them." Yes. Yeah. It's very convenient. That is That is the hard part. But yeah, Google See if See who Hinckley had dinner with before he shot ready. Here's the one thing though is you keep treating Google like it's an absolute fact. No, I know.
But there's interesting things where you're like, "Wait, that [ __ ] guy Hinckley had dinner with like the Bushes?" Don't this don't do this like something just insane. Hold on. Don't do this Hankley connection cuz you know where Hinckley connects the Obamas and the bushes. Where? Where? You don't know this. Oh, Tripoli told me this. Tripoli is on top of it. Oh, Tripoli is [ __ ] on it, dude.
If I'm the CIA, I'm hiring him immediately on some like catch me if you can [ __ ] Like you you figured out how our all our [ __ ] works, so now you have to work for us. But Hinckley is the connection for from Bush to Obama. Apparently Bush and Obama are relatives or something. Distant relatives. I've been trying to get this guy on my pod for so long. I think you can get him.
I've been emailing him non-stop. He's hit me back a couple times. He's a musician now. Oh yeah, he's he's a music. You can get Hley. You should have a live band here. The Reagan guy. Yeah, he shot Reagan. He got out a year and a half ago and I've been emailing him.
Look at his connectivity between Obama because listen listen. If if Hinckley hits Reagan and and actually kills him, who becomes president? What? Bush. H. Bush. Bush. H. Now look at head of the CIA. Bush. Who was the what? Head of the CIA. So the head of the CIA, Bush, would have become president if Hinckley did the thing he was supposed to do. He doesn't.
Look at his connection to Obama. I mean, this is this is Don't have Don't have a salt epiphany. Don't have a salt epiphany. Don't have a salt to pick right now. This is how you drink beer. There we go. You get a couple beers. You go. Yo, let me tell you something about Hinckley. Yo, shout out to Sam Tripoli, bro. N this is amazing. Hey, it's ridiculous.
All right, so we got uh relationship Barack Obama and Hinckley. Yeah, I made an awesome website. Shouts out to Famous Kin. So, you got Samuel Hinckley. Wait, Barack Obama and Hingley are related. Keep going. All right, so you just kind of take it all the way down. the [ __ ] bail. Keep on going. Keep on going. Almost there. Any second now. Boom. The smoking gun right in front of your eyes. John Hinckley Jr.
Barack Obam. But there's no connection. But that has nothing to do with Yeah. Look how many generations far back though. Gibberish. Ninth cousins twice removed. Are you trying to say that Samy would lie to me? Yeah. But that even if that's true, that's pointless. That doesn't matter. I don't know my five cousins. Yeah. Yeah, that doesn't matter. [ __ ] I would [ __ ] yeah, I would.
Yeah, Ralph W Emerson. Damn. Yeah, they got a lot of people. Wild name, dude. My name is Babe Ruth Gillis. Ralph Waldo Emerson Dunham. Yeah, but if you go back far enough, dude, it's all coming together. I feel like I have to call Tripoli right now and have I mean, yeah, this is so disappointing. I mean, well, this is crap. Obama was from Africa before this.
Speaking of, this is not a conspiracy. Obama's alleged brother is going wild. You see that guy? Is that his real brother? It's always the It's always his siblings, bro. Jealous. You can call him black sheep. Were you about to call him black sheep? Cuz that's a black sheep. That is a black as hell sheep.
Funny joke show. Oh, that's your waka, dude. That's your funny joke. I got high the night before. I ate a weed gummy. I called. I had to call. Matt, I had to call Matt. I needed help, dude. So, so I My girlfriend has these weed gummies that she bought in Denver. Yeah, I ate one in Denver. Nothing. Really? I must have eaten from a different container or something. Dude, you got to really mix that [ __ ] up a lot of times.
It didn't [ __ ] with me at all. In fact, I forgot I took it. I flew home. She was like, "Were you [ __ ] up?" I was like, "Oh, yeah. I ate that weekend." I'm like, "No, not at all." Oh. Then I was like, "Oh, that that was actually kind of nice." I didn't even really feel it. It was like relaxing. Yeah, I think I was relaxed. Yeah. So, I munched this one.
I got get in the shower 20 minutes later or however long. I get in the shower. We have this new rug that has like black like crumb, not crumbs, but like it's weird. It's like a rug placeholder. The thing you put underneath. Yeah. It's got these black specks. Okay. So, the rug was off and I was walking on it. So, I had black specks all over my shoe or the bottom of my feet.
I get in the shower and they just sprayed everywhere and I was like, "What are these fleas?" And I started reaching ass naked in the shower for like 15 minutes trying to trying to grab them, but they would move because of the water. Your fear of pestilence is so I'm so I'm so afraid of it. I know. I got bed bugs, dude. It [ __ ] me up.
I know. I had it before anyway. In Mount Vernon, you're there. I was so afraid of bugs. Oh, it's so funny. It makes sense. I'm afraid of being poisoned all. I don't know why I always think. So, I was reaching for these things, grabbing them.
I was like, "Hold them up to Anytime you think it's a bug and you hold it up to a light, no matter what it is, you're like, "That is a bug." Ah, [ __ ] Where are these bugs coming from? Do I have crabs? What the [ __ ] is this? Oh my god. And then finally, I realized I was like, "Holy [ __ ] I'm high as fuck." A [ __ ] I was like, "Oh no.
" And you're like, "And these bugs and bugs on me and I'm so high and I I had to like stop." Dude, think of being ass naked, bent over in a shower for like five minutes trying to be like It's just dirt. It's just dirt. What night was this? What night of the week was this again? Wednesday. Wednesday night. It was a nice Wednesday night. Also, what was funny is I was like, "Okay, cool. I'm not going to drink Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday. Good. Nice little four day.
" So, I eat this weed on Wednesday. I was like, "The only way I can get ejected out of this is wine." Yeah. I I need to get drunk. Yeah. Otherwise, this is hell, dude. I sat down. It was the night the United States played Coast. I get out of the shower. I'm like, I'm high as [ __ ] This is This sucks. Yeah. I'll put 200 bucks on Team USA to beat Costa Rica. Did you do that? They lost two nothing.
I did it right before. So, I was like, "All right, at least I can enjoy this soccer game." I sit down to watch the soccer game. The only thing I can think of is cuz it was at Costa Rica. Literally, I sat there just like I how much it would [ __ ] blow to be Costa Rican. That's all I was thinking of was just like your country stinks. I mean, yeah, it's beautiful, whatever.
I've never been there, but you go out, the city is just a dump. Yeah. Like this buildings, [ __ ] just doesn't work. Yeah. The whole country, you just It just sucks. Yeah. Nobody relies on tourism because they want to. Yeah. You know what I mean? It's never a thing like, oh yeah, we'll just Yeah. Maybe it's not that bad, but when I was high, I was thinking of like this just sucks. Like it's just probably hot.
I mean, I'm sure you get used to a lot of things, but like Yeah, I I know what you're It's like living at the Bahamas. It's like, oh, it's paradise. You go there, it's like really sad. Yeah, it's like a cast system. Yeah, it's always thing. And then I was like, I kind of understand cheering for them against us. It's like this team, they're in Costa Rica stadium.
They're like, "Let's go. We need to win this." [ __ ] yeah. USA's there. Like, whatever. We're all millionaires now. Anyway, so I literally stared at the TV feeling bad for Costa Rica. Didn't watch the game. I looked at the television for 20. I checked the time when I realized all I was doing was thinking about Costa Rica and not watching the game.
I checked the clock on the game and it was at like the 25th minute. I hadn't I didn't even know what color the jerseys were. You spent an episode of Friends being like sitting there going and then USA lost two nothing. I was like, "God damn it, what a [ __ ] wormhole." Oh, it was bad. Oh my god.
Then I heard this story of a lady who got killed by an elephant from where? From my girlfriend's town. So, where'd you hear the story? She told me. Oh, god, man. And it was killing me because this lady loved elephants. Yeah, she loved elephants. She's from the middle of the country in America. She loves elephants. She's a rich lady. So, she started a foundation to save elephants. Yeah. So she goes to Africa and gets [ __ ] crushed by an elephant.
Stomped. Yeah. In her tent at night, an elephant came in and was just like, "Oh no." And ground her up into the ground with his tusks. And then I was laughing because her she loved elephants. And then her dying thought was it had to have been [ __ ] elephants. Oh yeah. And that was making me laugh. I was like what a [ __ ] up. She would have been in denial. She be like this is a rhinoceros. This is a rhinoceros.
An elephant would never do this. Yeah. She's like, "Oh, she see the trunk come in and grab a peanut from her tent." She's like, "No, you guys are It turns out you guys suck." Yeah. So, that was that was killing me. Oh god. When did she break the news? She like just like what led Yeah. All of a sudden, dude, she was hitting me with [ __ ] up stories. Oh god. A lot of them, dude.
She took you to the She kept saying [ __ ] I was like, I was kind of sad. I kept being like, "Is that funny? That's funny. It's actually sad." And then I'd be like, "But that's kind of I guess what humor is when you think about it. I hate weed. I hate it. I hate it." I was like, at one point I was like I like smoked myself into being a communist because of how shitty Costa Rica was.
I was like, "Fuck America, dude. Give Costa Rica some stuff." And I was like I was like, "What am I, a communist?" Dude, this was a nightmare. I hate it. I hate kg was a thing. It was [ __ ] nothing, dude. Well, I'm telling you, when you They [ __ ] up those that batch, dude. When you make this used to happen to me when I would make gummies. Yeah, I tried some of yours.
Yeah. You mix it up, mix it up. You can do your best, but a lot of times if you're using like a oil based, a lot of them use coconut oil and dude, you mix it with water and that oil sometimes it gets a pocket. You get one gummy that's just a hot shot. I got hit with I got the dud.
I got the dud first and then this one was But then again, for me, like 20 milligrams is like I'm dead. Yeah. I can't do it, dude. I There's a huge difference. If you get an alcohol tincture, that's ch it's the chillest ever because it comes on in like 20 minutes. You don't forget you're not all of a sudden doing something. You're just like, this is the It's just like, dude, I'm sitting there like, dude, she'd tell me a story and I'd be like, that's sad, right? That's [ __ ] up, right? But then I was high enough to be like, I'm a communist and I was like, you know what's nice about weed? You get to experience what it's like to think like other people. So when you're sober, you can empathize
with them better. I called you and told you that. And I was like, that's so gay. I was laughing so [ __ ] hard. I needed Matt, dude. I called Matt. I was like, "Dude, help." Hopefully I was up service. You were laughing about Oh, dude. We could joke about it. That was the funniest [ __ ] thing. So I was like, I can't stop.
I'm a high and I can't stop thinking about Nick Bryant lying about all that. Like all I could think about was how [ __ ] funny it is if he has no evidence. Now obviously I believe I genuinely I believe I do believe him. For the record I believe I was just high and I was thinking about how funny it would be if he was on there like by the way yeah Clarence Thomas is a known pedophile. It's just like he's just out here making [ __ ] up.
I was laughing on the way up of him when he talked about getting pulled over. Shout out to Catholicism man. Yeah, the best respect. Number one though, obviously. No. Break down. Number one. Uh, who's who who else who are we talking? Who else is in contention here? We have Muslims. Yeah, we have Jews. Jews have a solid a solid claim. We got the Hindus.
That's the best type of ant. But here's the thing. I don't think you can include the Jews. You can't include the Jews because they're not proilitizing, right? But that's kind of the most fire [ __ ] though. Most religions don't proitize. But to me, it's like if you got to be born in it, how fire is it? Maybe the most fire.
It's like a country club, dude. Yeah. You want to get Hey, join the country club. They literally are that occasionally gets raided and beat the hell out of everybody. We like to move around. In a few years, a bunch of guys break in. There's a couple attack everybody. Yeah, they got a couple L's. I'm just trying to say we don't know how fire it is if people aren't dying to join up.
Like people are literally dying to join up certain ones. Yeah. And uh and also No, no, no. They're not dying to join up. They're dying to get other people to join. Fair enough. They're putting effort in. They're putting the effort in. But I think Abrahamic religions are the only ones that proitize. But do Hindus not? No, we don't.
But y'all don't like it when people aren't Hindu. You put the pressure on. No, we don't. Being Muslim in India, we don't like Muslims, but they Shove, get back in here. Shove, get back in here. And the Abrahamic religions post the Jews.
Okay, let's talk about Let's talk about You think Catholics number one? I mean, yeah. Okay. Why? We did it, dude. We did it. Look at the Vatican. We did it. Yeah. No, that [ __ ] is fire. The Vatican. That's I have a bit about this. The Vatican was mid. No, come on. I did. Invented the Western world. Invented the Western world. Number one. Here's the question. Did Luther have anything to do with that? No. Okay, break it down. Well, wait.
Are we counting Christianity as part of Catholicism? Yeah. Okay. If we if we count, are we branching off all the different branches of Islam? That's true. If we're doing the the what is it? Shia. Okay, fine. So, just wrap it into one. Christianity number one. Catholicism number one. Yeah. Yeah. If we're going off of of of leadership, you had an interesting argument. You were like, he's not a man.
And because of that, yeah, when you don't live up to him, you don't feel You can't bring up these bar conversations or No, I thought it was like Jesus is Lord. It is, dude. We get so intimate with But no, but it was like a really good conversation. It was like you brought this argument. You're like, he's not a man. Yeah.
Therefore, when you don't live up to him, you don't feel horrible about yourself. He's someone to aspire to live up to. Yeah. Whereas Muhammad lived a godly life like he's God. He's not. He's prophet. Yeah. But they their argument is they don't worship Muhammad. But there's also that. Meanwhile, they go nuts if you draw him.
That seems like the most intense level of worship. That's like their boy though. That's like their boy. That's their guy. I get it. I think Jesus is mentioned more than Muhammad in the Quran. Really? Well, because he's a prophet. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. They believe in him. They recogn to just be like, "Come on." Yeah, he's a great dude. Like, we all love him.
He's a man, but like you really think he was God? Yeah, I guess you're right. And he would be like, "No, that's just Pops. Pops." Yeah, but then are the Catholic argument is he's also Pops. He's both 100%. It's the trinity. He's all It's one and then whatever.
I don't What are we talking about? If he was god, get him some more Bud Lights cuz really weak [ __ ] if he was God. That's a good argument also. No did way more. That's what they were saying back then, too. They were like, "Dude, why are you just letting them kill you? You could destroy everybody. Water into wine." Like light [ __ ] but not I don't know. I feel like I feel like the You said 40 people with one fish. There's more than 40 people. That's what I'm saying.
You know what I mean? That's Yo, that's not even that many. All right. Sorry you didn't have the [ __ ] Oprah helped more people. I missed it. eight Rs. Yeah. Feed a lot more people with eight arms. It could keep it a stack. I guess Do we proitize? No. So, you're cool if people aren't Hindu. Well, because you get a second try. It's like, you know what I mean? We're supposed to be.
But don't you guys occasionally fight Muslims? We don't like Muslims, but constantly. Hey, can we can I can I say one thing about that's the British? That's an easy cop out. Are they still there making you guys fight? I can I ask you I don't know. Have you There's a lot of There's a lot of expats in Delhi still there.
Yeah, they made me fight. Can I ask you one question about Muslims? Who gets along with them? That's [ __ ] up, dude. Answer the question. I like them. Crazy. Dana White likes them. Dana White likes them. Yeah, I like them. I Great. What group of people? I like them. It seems like Wait, hold on.
Why don't you Why don't you express your opinions about two billions? They don't get along with Jews. They don't get along with Hindus. They don't get along with harbored the Jews. They took care of the Jews. My parents all the Jews live. Oh, no. You're right, guys. I'm wrong. Yeah. No, you guys are right. Jews and Americans get along real. They did. Give him that.
There was a land dispute. I know we're being 40s. Before that, they were getting along beautifully. Sunnis don't like Shia. They empire. Lovely for the Jews. Hey, V. Sunnis and Shia get along. The Turks have always No.
How do you treat? What do you say about Ismileies and Amabes? What do you say about them? I I person toilet. Let's go. That is the best I personally. No, because they've built all like the best schools and the roads and everything. The Amades and the Ismileies up north in the mountains. Yeah, they have the best education. Best road. They're the No, but in the city, there's a sect of Islam Islam called AMI. I think I'm pronouncing that correctly.
Apparently, if you live in Pakistan, when you come back and you have to fill out the immigration form, if you're AMD, you have to check a box that says something like, "I'm Amodi." And I understand that this is not a valid sect of Islam or some [ __ ] like that. They make you check the box. Damn. Damn, bro. They don't like each other. This guy does that. Why they mad? We don't like them. Dude, you know who would never do that? The Christian West, bro. That's true.
The Christian West would probably Hey, shut the [ __ ] up, Shane. Let me just [ __ ] ride for us for one second, dude. We're gay now. Yeah. Yeah. Pope Francis has gone a little gay. I Hey, he's got a little gay. I don't want to trash the man, but yeah, he's got a little That's what we used to be, dude.
That's what That's what Catholicism is talking about. You don't think Pope Francis is going to be on the battlefield, dude? [ __ ] no. No, he wouldn't do it. That guy, stop. Wait a minute. What is the What is the I saw I saw a newspaper headline that was like Pope Francis doubles down on climate change. It's like what? Shut up, dude.
What do you mean doubles down? Yeah. Like climate change is real, [ __ ] Okay, dude. Oh, so is he like uh So Catholics, staunch Catholics don't like Oh, my mom My mom sends me articles. Really? Like what? Like what? Like what? She's like Pope Francis thinks dogs can go to heaven. What are we talking about? Yeah. Yeah. That was big for me, dude. That was when I started to lose my faith a little in school. Catholic school.
They're like, "Dogs don't have souls. They don't go to heaven." Yeah. I was like, "There's a Disney movie that says Shack." My dog Shaq is Shaq Diesel's going to heaven. Yeah. Thousand%. I'm with I'm with a dog name. Shack Diesel. What kind of dog? Black Lab. Shack Diesel. Was it Was he Diesel? I just loved Shaq. It had nothing to his race.
I uh [Laughter] What happened to Shaq though? Is he Jack died? Oh, he did. Heaven though. Was it police or some German Shepherds? He was reaching for it. They called him. He was reaching for it. Oh my god. Put it down. Drop it. Down. Drop it. Drop. wasn't dropping it, dude. That's not good.
Drug dogs planted evidence on them after they killed him. Crazy. Careful, man. Them [ __ ] German shepherds, man. Yeah. But yeah, my mom gets pissed off post France and I should not. But so I didn't know this. Andrew explains to me the pope is supposed to be like that's the word of God. Don't put this on me. Andrew was saying he did try to put this on me. No, but you did say infallibility. Go. You did say whatever he's about.
[ __ ] you. No, the pope is like that's like the word of God. He was supposed to be infallible, but I think they've changed that. Basically once they started disagreeing that's [ __ ] pretty fallible when you think about it started like changing pedophiles shifting them around. Oh really? Yeah.
I think that's why Benedict left was the German dude. I think he was Polish Polish. He was like a Hitler youth that was hiding pedophile and that's a good that's a good Catholic. That's a good That's what I want. Can we get his movie? Can we get his biopic then? Okay. I'll buy you a painting of him for your room. He's He's terrified. You don't think he's already in his room? He already has. Benedict, I get him up there.
Have you met a pope? No. Did you see one when you went to Vatican? Did you see him? I've I've never been to the Vatican. Oh, really? No. Don't go. Been Don't go. It's It's honestly fantastic. Rome is Rome is the greatest city I've ever been to in my entire life outside New York.
But you should go if you're there, but temper your expectations because I went there and I was like, it's it's okay. Rome is way more impressive. You saw Chapel and you were like mid. That's not dude. That's crazy. Worst building. If he wasn't, no one was [ __ ] This city stinks, dude. The greatest. Have you seen the Chrysler building? I saw the Chrysler building yesterday when I was driving through the city and I was like [ __ ] right, dude. That is sick. Right. They missed the wrong. Yeah.
When did they build that? What is that? When was that built? Oh, the 911. Yeah. [ __ ] you, man. [ __ ] 911. God damn, that pisses me off. Chrysler building, 1928. 1928. That's wild. Empire State Building up in how many months? 13 or something? 13 months. 13 months. Maybe 16 months. Insane. [ __ ] dude. Insane. That's not true. 19. No.
Built 1930 and built in 13 months. Wow. Miles. Wow. Bravo. Which one is this? Empire. How many people died building? Amazing. Yo, look at how many. They must have thrown bodies at that. You saw them all sitting on the [ __ ] the craziest [ __ ] ever, man. Yeah. Just eating a sandwich. Five people died building the Empire State Building. Work, bro.
It was worth it. It was worth it. Yeah. Yeah. What about Brooklyn Bridge? That counts as like 20. Yeah, that's a good point. That's a good point. Yeah. It's 5/3 if you're white. Oh, this is Listen, number one comedy special in the world right now. 91 pissed you off, dude. 911 [ __ ] pisses off. Where were you on that on that day? I was in eighth grade.
And what happened? I just had gym class. It was a pretty good day. They were just like, "All right, everybody. I'm 35." Okay. We were senior year. Look rough, huh? We'll be right back. to do Trump is like the speech Trump when he's doing a rally Trump. Okay. Okay. Cuz it's just in the back of your
throat. The greatest country. The greatest country. Okay. A little bit. The The greatest country. Don't do this. Do this. The greatest country. Don't move at all. Only move your hand. All right. Don't move my body. Don't move your shoulders. Just your hands. The greatest country. Sit like that if you're sitting. Don't. First of all, don't. Okay.
So, sit like this. Don't. Yeah. The greatest country. The best country. The best country. Wow. What a country. Wow. What a country. A lot of Asians. A lot of a lot of Asians. Maybe too many Asian. Maybe too many. I don't Asian. Yeah. Maybe too many Asians. I don't know. That's pretty good. What? Mr.
Trump, how do you feel about gay rights? I like it, but they're going a little overboard with the dancing. A lot of dancing. I don't know about that. Welcome to speed dating. Each of you is going to meet for about 3 minutes. Then you're going to hear this buzzer. Okay? And when that goes off, we're going to move to the next table.
Tana, what are you doing here? I was asked to speak at this hotel. It turns out there's some type of [ __ ] banquet going on. Give us another that that we haven't heard you because you do so many good impressions. You got a good Trump. Your Trump's good. Oh, [ __ ] Can we do a Trump off into a Trump thing? I do it. I've never heard of yours.
Very good. Very good. It's very good. There's a lot of guys doing uh a lot of people doing me. You're a very good impersonator. Yeah, he's nice at it. It's not bad enough. Now, Jamie Joe De Roa, what a pig. Disgusting piggy. I would love to put the country on your shoulders, but Joe, it might slide off.
I'm a very good comedian. I could be a comedian. A lot of guys a lot of guys say Joe's built like a worm. I don't say that. But Joe is built like a worm. He looks like the Men and Black aliens grew up. I don't even need a date, but I'll get a date if I want a date. You can go on Tinder. Have you heard of this? There's Tinder.
You go pop and there's Bush. something. There's one debate. There's one debate. He's like in the middle of it. Have you guys seen Jamie Fox's Trump? It's incredible. I got tagged in that 9,000 times.
It's the only Trump I've ever heard that's better than yours. Oh, it's better. Well, black people are better at things. This is This is a challenge. It's really good. Is it better? Jamie Fox. Like this rotation. Yeah, I knew the next couple. He's a black guy. Black guys, they're okay. Pretty good. I can't read this. I'm not doing it.
He Dude, some people are way better at the conversational Trump. I can't do that. Like the What are you going to do in 2024, Mr. Trump? Is it you haven't announced you're running? I haven't announced it. The crooked FBI. They went into my house. Not good. They didn't find anything.
He uh who was it? One of them with [ __ ] It was might have been Ted Cruz or Marco Rubio. He called him [ __ ] It was a lady in the crowd and she goes, "He's a pussy." And he goes, "What' you say?" And she yelled it again. He was like, he could tell no one else heard it. He goes, "She called him a [ __ ] I would never say that. He said that out loud into a microphone, bro. Yeah, come on, man. He's got comic timing.
He's a [ __ ] That's terrible. I would never call him [ __ ] He's a [ __ ] That's terrible. During a campaign trail in New Hampshire, Trump hit back the then rival Ted Cruz by quoting a woman in the audience who called the Texas Senator a [ __ ] She just said a terrible thing. You do it. Do it. She just said a terrible thing.
You know what she said? Shout it out. Okay. You're not allowed to say it. I won't say it. She called him a [ __ ] Crowd went nuts, dude. fourth part. I need to tell you about this. No, give me Trump. I thought that was Trump. Trump it. No, Joe. Give me Trump with scientists. Joe, there's a lot of scientists out there.
There's these guys that come in here, they talk to you, they don't know what they're saying. They talk to you about getting [ __ ] I get [ __ ] A lot of guys, this is pretty exciting. I've never been on a date with a white guy before. Hit the buzzer. I mean, I'm just wondering what it would be like with something a little smaller. Let me stop you there, Lane. I don't know who sat in this chair before me, but it stinks.
I told her. Any interest? You're gay. Hey, blame the dairy industry. I would never suck a guy's dick, but if I did, it'd be one of the best sucks he's ever had. Everybody thinks Ari's a [ __ ] nightmare. Great guy. He's behind the scenes a little sweetheart. I've been friends with Ari since he was an open micer working as a door guy.
He still hasn't gotten better at comedy, but just a How has he not gotten better? He went a little Trump there. How is he? How honestly this guy I can't do it with the headphones. You can do it. You got it. Take the headphones and come do it. You had it. Ari Shafir. What a loser this guy is. Yes. He's 68. He's 70 years old. This guy. They tell me how old he is. He can't be this old.
He is this old. That's amazing. That's great. That's amazing. That's amazing. There's a guy right now. Somebody who's trying to buy this [ __ ] park. There is. The last thing he thinks is some dork coming on a podcast. Trump protect the park. Man, I hope it's Trump.
Can you imagine if Trump inter Trump, why do you want this park so bad? Oh, you want me to do Trump impression? Why' you do Trump? What's the problem with this park? Why do you want it so bad, Donald? We've got a lot of Jews down there. That's good. How'd you know that? How'd you know there was so many Jews down there? Stop. No. Keep going. Come on. No. What are you going to do with the park? A lot of people think that you're going to put a prison there.
You going to put a prison there? We might put a prison there. I haven't thought about it, but thinking about a prison. No, I just love I love I love thinking about Trump in the situation room watching a live military operation. He's the only dude in the room that wasn't military.
He must have been the only dude watching it that was like, "Oh, like you could tell he's never seen it before by the [ __ ] speech." The speech sounded like a guy just trying to tell you some shitty saw. A lot of guys would knock on the front door. Not these guys. Not our guys. Not our guys. Our guys went through the wall. They blew up his wall. And they used dogs. Beautiful dogs.
What would you do? Is it uh Gavin Newsome? Like what would you do? Elizabeth Warren. Like who? Michelle. Michelle. Michelle Obama if she wants to do it. Obama. Dude, I I could literally start immediately. I could start immediately. How you like that, dude? We on, baby. Here's exactly what Yesterday we recorded a full podcast, talked about race for about an hour.
Two hours. Two hours straight. It was uh it was a lot. And uh now it'll just be me saying something and backpedaling on Crystalia. Well, kids are hot these days. I mean, I'm not going to defend him or anything, but it's going to be that for an hour and a half. No, no, no. It just But here's what was scary. But he got called a pedophile. Sure.
And everybody was so happy to call him that on Twitter. It's pretty fun. There's lit. It is. Look, pretty satisfying to call him. I heard the news. When I heard the news, I was like, "Oh, nice." Immediately got on Twitter and I was like, "Fuck, that sucks for him, huh?" But, uh, you know, there's no there's no way of controlling it. There's no way of being like, "Hey, everybody on Twitter, we got to wait until someone's proven guilty.
" Yeah. Before he's number one treading trending in America as pedophile. That's a rough one. Oh, dude. I didn't think I don't I didn't think it got worse than ours. Apparently, it gets worse. Apparently. Yeah. I mean, they hit the Lou Dog with just like masturbator. Yeah. Like aggressive.
They hit him with aggressive masturbator. Well, that was after the initial. He gets he gets hit with rapist a lot. Does he? Lud dog. Really? Yeah. King Louie. King Louie gets hit with King Lou gets They bring that to his table and he just says no. No. Get this out of here. No. But the Leah man got I read it. It's damning.
The only The only problem is Well, again, it was like the Aziz and Sorry situation where girls like I hung out with the famous guy and he just wanted to [ __ ] me. It's annoying. Yeah, that was a couple of them were like, "All right, shut up. Keep it [ __ ] moving, lady." And here's here's the [ __ ] up thing is I was it's like a bunch of it's like man why do they all come out at once? It's like well they finally feel brave enough.
It's like or do they see other girls getting a lot of likes dude that's a valid question valid question. Valid question. Anything's on the table anymore. I'm not doing this step forward one step back. We live in a country right now where the media is blatantly lying to the population. So anything's on the table dude.
But yeah the problem is too when you see the thing that made me laugh is when a lot of them are like I was like a beginning comedian. I thought he was going to advise me and really he just wanted to [ __ ] me which is super annoying. It's like of course he want you you done you did two open mics and you think this guy now like that's your mentor. A famous guy DMs you like oh perfect this is how this works. Yeah. I do stand up. They all funny people.
They're like oh I just do one mic and then Adam Sandler makes me famous. Yeah. Uh yeah. It's so a couple of them are like oh man that's it's just a pylon. And then but then you see the one or two that's like he's DMing like 16-year-olds like you see you see the indefensible. Yeah.
The indefensible ones are just like how old are you again? I just think you're Don't tell you can't tell young chicks they're cute man. It's like it's weird or lament the fact you can't lament a chick's age via text. It's like and then I'm sitting there I'm like damn dude I better not get [ __ ] popped on any of these.
Like what? cuz they immediately put up a clip of him being like 14y olds are not oh dude 14 anymore they're 35 they're hot I saw that it's like oh I saw that yeah if I get if I get hit on anything there's going to be clips of me being like I'd [ __ ] Louiswis's son I immediately thought about that I'm like dude there would be it would be like four it would be people would be like shut it off enough all right there's more like shut it off godamn it yeah so uh yeah if you had to go to like a C-SPAN thing like I And I did say kids were hot. I did say kids cuz kids, your honor, I was kidding. I was talking about the gymnastic show
and I did say those kids were hot. They were hot kids hopping around. Like for the record, do you think those kids were hot, Mr. Gillis? Like I those kids For the record, sworn testimony. Damn. Yes, your honor. Did they ever do that? Yes, your honor. You had to do like a newspaper of your face. The kids were [ __ ] hot.
Running out of the courtroom. Yeah. Well, it was funny too because there was like the some of the girl one of the girls too uh this is actually kind of funny. This kind of ties into other stuff. One of the girls who came forward I think her name or her Twitter name is Goblin. She was like I'm like reading her thing. I'm like man that's really shitty. And then it's she's like her link is just like my webcam my only fans profile.
So I'm like all right. So I'm like webcam models now my brain my my wheels are spinning dude. I'm going like, "All right." He he totally might have hit you up, but it's like like right now I've seen this thing where people are like, "Where you going with this?" People have been complaining about cops, right? They're like people like, "Dude, they don't understand cops are a dangerous job.
" And people are like, "Yeah, have you ever met a sex worker?" And it's like, what? There's no comparison there. Like, have you ever gotten butt [ __ ] in the back of a Subaru in a legally parked car? It's like it's like I can guess, man. Doesn't make you a hero. It's like you ever feel I saw people people been trying to be like you think cops got it rough imagine being a sex worker.
It's like that's a weird compar like imagine being a coyote and sneaking people over the country. All right. So you would just be like like you know get away from but yeah it's pretty sinful physique. It's pretty nasty dude. But you know that and again it ties into all the [ __ ] you know like people getting cancelled for [ __ ] It's like you know with like the delete [ __ ] It's just like he was going for he's going for young, bro.
He was going for young. I'm not And the problem is I'm not trying to like slam the dude. It's like, you know, did none of his friends all his friends are like, "Look, I had no idea." It's like, "All right, do I buy it?" No. But it's like, you know, I don't know. I've I've watched everyone's reaction to that. Like, I just want to state for the record.
I did not know he was [ __ ] young chicks. I know he liked chicks. I didn't know they were young. Yeah. It's like I knew he was [ __ ] young chicks by looking at his ripped jeans. What are you talking about? He's 40 with ripped jeans. Get him out of here. True. But you know Yeah, man. I don't know if I don't you know has I'm not [ __ ] on the dude.
It's just again it's like his MMO was Look, he was making comedy to get SnZ. Yeah. So his comedy was kind of It was pop. Mhm. It was gay. True. And he got the Bieber bump. Yes. So his fans, he Bieber was his favorite comedian and then Bieber bequeafd him a nation of very borderline fans. Look, I never mind. There's nothing to say on that.
Well, this was this was the whole this was a discussion I had with Spud and it's like, you know, and this is what they were saying people are kind of against of like, you know, as as a dude with a bunch of money and prestige, you're not supposed to go after young chicks. You're not supposed to be trying to [ __ ] them. And it's like I could agree it's it's not the best for your personal s situation to go for like you know I'm talking like mega success mega influence but then again it's like what's the [ __ ] age you know what so okay we're going to say like yeah maybe it's weird to be 40 and try to [ __ ] 20-year-olds although you know
is it I don't that's the thing is it I don't that and this is this was the discussion you say that now wait till you're 40 I mean you know what I mean when people like I hope I'm dead when I'm 80 then you hit 80 and you're like I don't want to [ __ ] die same thing dude if I'm 40 and someone's like, "Is it weird to [ __ ] 20-year-olds?" I'll be like, "Well, I think it's pretty cool if you could pull it off." Yeah, but that there's there's the theory of it and then there's the actual This isn't great.
No, I No, but this this was an important this No, what you're talking what you're speaking to is what I was saying. It's like it's not really like I get the cultural implications of like, yeah, man, it's probably not the best thing if you're 40 years old and you're like boopping around with a 20-year-old.
Like, there's a huge time gap and like if you can sit there and pass time with a 20-year-old girl, something's probably kind of wrong with you. if you can lay afterwards and be like, "Yeah, that's so [ __ ] up. Your friend's being mean to you, man. That's [ __ ] crazy." Yeah. I Anyway, it's my second house.
There's like, "What the [ __ ] are you talking about?" But when people try to be like, "Oh, that's just [ __ ] up and weird." It's like, well, yeah, but like again, b like biologically speaking, this sounds really bad, but it's like, you know, 23. Like, dudes are looking dudes are looking for signs of fertility. That is like a Delia was just trying to reproduce. No, he was not. He was being a pig, dude. But it's like he piged out. He piged.
But when people are like, "Oh man, that's [ __ ] up. You shouldn't like like what's the age then if you're what is it like 5 years six?" Like Muslims figured it out. Half your age plus seven, which is actually really [ __ ] young, but I don't think Muslims figured that out. That was that was the Muslim rule. Half your age plus seven. Are you sure? I thought that was like the uncle's rule. I read Roots, bro.
Did you read Roots? You would know. If you read Roots, you would know. It's half your age. In the very beginning, in the very be Alex Hy took some, you know, he took some, you know, leaps. But that was the thing like they tried to give the Muslims credit for wanting to [ __ ] young chicks. They said Muslim rule is half your age plus seven.
So I think the in the book the guy was like 34 and had like a I don't know the exact math. It would have been 34 is what like 17 plus 7 20 something 24. I'm going to take a stab. So it was like that's actually pretty good. But then back then in the v, you know, according to the book, Alex H alen roots, who Yeah. did get people. But it's funny, too, people the book came out and people were like, "Motherfucker.
" And they're like, "I'm gonna I'm gonna sink this [ __ ] thing." Yeah. But they were uh in the in the beginning of it in this village, there's people there. And it's like if you're So if you're a lady and you say you're like 35 and your husband dies, you're allowed to take in like a second in 18, let's just call it 18.
Back then, might have been like 16 or 17 in the, you know, ancient village. Yeah. Yeah, but you would take in a young boy and train him in the ways of sex and then release him to his wife if you're if you were a widow. Uh if you were a widow, I'm sorry. So in in the African roots village, right, you explained it right. I was just not. Yeah, in the book Roots.
That's what if you were a widow or you know I mean you know I don't think back then chicks just like didn't get which is a it's fiction. So this guy just came up with like a very hot erotic story. He came up with he definitely he came up with like pure stepmom porn or someone some someone like I've been thinking this how many stepmoms do you think have actually been stuck you know what I mean since this genre how many kids have walked in to see a stepmom stuck in the sink and just been like you're a pervert I'm out of here anyway they had of course
it should be they should make one where never mind that be a horrific movie well they should yeah was like, "What are you doing?" No. Turns the disposal on to break her hand out. She's like, "A 20, 47 hours later, whatever that movie is.
" Or make it a little Yeah, we should make a movie with that where some guy finds James Franco in that cave. Which one? His arm stuck where he was the uh mountain. Some dude's like, "Oh, perfect. Just [ __ ] him and leaves. You're making a fool of me and it hurts. So stop. Stop it. I'm Something bad's going to happen. You're not going to like me start being eight and being like, "You're not going
to like me when I'm angry. I would just cry. I would just cry. I would cry. You didn't think you were a [ __ ] You didn't think you were Wolverine or Hulk. Someone would get me going. I'd be like I would like strike out and I would strike out. I would strike out in kickball and get ridiculed off my front lawn and run inside. I'd be like, "Shut up, man.
" Shut up. Just run inside. And then, dude, it's funny. You just black out and you come back like, "What's up, bro?" You completely forget. You forget about it. Can I play again? Yeah.
